Content-Type: text/shitpost


Subject: Skinks
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!qwerty​!fpuzhpx​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2023-05-31T10:09:54
Newsgroup: alt.binaries.skink
Message-ID: <e3e29ea50d8390d1@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

How sure are we that the blue-tongued skink and the blue-tailed skink aren't the same animal walking in different directions?


Subject: Modok
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!brain-in-a-vat​!am​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2023-03-28T12:00:30
Newsgroup: misc.misc.modok
Message-ID: <d96da8eaf381a552@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Does MODOK need to shave?

Does he blow his nose? How? He can't reach it. Now I picture the hapless AIM scientist who has to attend MODOK with an enormous spotted hanky when he catches cold.


Subject: Croatian puzzle
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!wikipedia​!twirlip​!glados​!extro​!goatrectum​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2023-03-22T16:12:53
Newsgroup: talk.mjd.croatia
Message-ID: <ce544cf3f24a64fa@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

In Serbian, Croatian, and other Slavic languages, srp (or ср̑п) means a sickle. And sȑpskī (ср̏пскӣ) means the Serbs or the Serbian language.

But it's Croatia, not Serbia, that is actually sickle-shaped.


Subject: I have had this conversation more than once
Path: you​!your-host​!ultron​!gormenghast​!hal9000​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2023-02-27T13:42:37
Newsgroup: sci.math.judgmental
Message-ID: <2f70d4e9f607ad2e@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Therapist: You're a very judgmental person.

Me: That's because is good to be judgmental

Me: Most people should be more judgmental actually

Me: I don't know what the fuck is wrong with them all


Subject: Makes ya think, don't it?
Path: you​!your-host​!ultron​!brain-in-a-vat​!am​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2023-02-23T14:38:37
Newsgroup: alt.binaries.pictures.circuits-and-districts
Message-ID: <ca6f6b043e5b1334@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

According to Ozy Brennan, quoting from I'm Perfect, You're Doomed:

The Assemblies are Jehovah’s Witness conventions. There are two kinds: the Circuit Assembly, which occurs twice a year at the largest local Kingdom Hall, and the District Assembly, which is the same thing but bigger.

Isn't that curious? The U.S. federal court system does it the other way around: there are 13 “circuits”, each of which is divided into “districts”. For example, the Third Circuit comprises the District of Delaware, the District of New Jersey, and three districts in Pennsylvania.

What do you suppose it means? Coincidence?? Conspiracy??¿?

Other not-really-related mysteries: Why Oklahoma?:


Subject: More about the worst finite field
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!prime-radiant​!uunet​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2023-02-13T13:08:20
Newsgroup: alt.binaries.pictures.worst-finite-field
Message-ID: <d2bdbcad50770858@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Going down to the basement today I realized that this could actually be reasoned out, maybe. Every finite field has the form !!GF(p^n)!! for some prime !!p!! and some number !!n!!. There is not much to distinguish finite fields, they are all pretty much the same. Except maybe you could distinguish the !!n=1!! cases from the !!n>1!! cases, those are a little different.

Aha, but if you consider the !!n=0!! case, the answer becomes clear.


Subject: Worst finite field
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!uunet​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2023-02-13T13:05:47
Newsgroup: rec.food.cooking.worst-finite-field
Message-ID: <dcaa5ad265b7baee@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

I don't know why a voice in my head kept demanding to know what was the worst finite field. But I couldn't stop thinking about it, until I realized the answer: It's clearly !!GF(1)!!.


Subject: How to select uniform random points on a sphere
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!prime-radiant​!computer​!hal9000​!plovergw​!plovervax​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2023-02-09T11:53:31
Newsgroup: misc.misc.random-sphere-points
Message-ID: <54a13994fac280f9@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Select !!x, y, !! and !!z!! uniformly at random. Then discard the selection and start over unless !!x^2+y^2+z^2=1!!.


Subject: Happy new year!
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!uunet​!asr33​!kremvax​!hal9000​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2023-01-07T12:43:08
Newsgroup: misc.test.happy-new-year
Message-ID: <020e8a85fa849376@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

It's 2023! Is Groupon dead yet?


Subject: Ahem
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!wikipedia​!twirlip​!wescac​!berserker​!plovergw​!ploverhub​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2022-11-11T18:19:38
Newsgroup: alt.binaries.twitter
Message-ID: <f473004d18679f79@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

I quit twitter before it was cool.


Subject: Last night's mathematical dream
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!thermostellar-bomb-20​!twirlip​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2022-07-06T10:43:26
Newsgroup: rec.pets.math-dream
Message-ID: <0415928972178d30@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Last night I dreamt that I was explaining to someone how to solve a certain math problem. I said you shouldn't consider the situation as an ongoing process, but instead imagine it as a fully-realized decision tree, and then apply the Davis-Putnam algorithm. In the dream someone spoke up from across the room: “You mean the Davis-Putnam-Brown algorithm.”

“What??” I exclaimed in mock surprise. “Next you are going to tell me that Bunyakovsky discovered the Cauchy-Schwarz inequality!”

Tell me, Dr. Freud, what does this mean?


Subject: Aphorism
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!wikipedia​!twirlip​!central-scrutinizer​!fpuzhpx​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2022-04-29T10:01:04
Newsgroup: alt.binaries.aphorism
Message-ID: <50040abc5a5cfdbc@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

It's not enough to make the coffee, you also have to drink it.


Subject: Holy Saturday
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!brain-in-a-vat​!am​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2022-04-17T08:34:24
Newsgroup: alt.sex.holy-saturday
Message-ID: <bda3f84572c575ea@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

In many Christian communities, it is traditional to eat cheese on Holy Saturday, to commemorate the day Jesus spent ripening in a cave.


Subject: Octahedral cathedral
Path: you​!your-host​!ultron​!brain-in-a-vat​!am​!plovergw​!ploverhub​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2022-03-28T12:03:53
Newsgroup: misc.octahedral-cathedral
Message-ID: <d33859919e74eca4@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

As far as I can tell there are no octahedral cathedrals. Why not?

Google search produces several claimed examples, such as the Cathedral of San Flaviano in Giulianova. But photographs make clear that this is actually an octagonal cathedral, actually an octagonal prism surmounted by a dome. Similarly, St. Basil's cathedral in Moscow has a floor plan with a roughly eightfold symmetry, but is not octahedral in any way.

Polyhedral buildings are common, but the space is dominated by cuboids. Even the Kaaba in Mecca, despite its name (“cube” in Arabic) and its enormous religious significance, is only approximately cubical, visibly irregular.

The Egyptians famously made pyramids but they are all pentahedral. none is a tetrahedron, much less a regular tetrahedron. A regular tetrahedron is too steep for practical construction anyway; the Egyptians had bad experiences with overly-steep pyramids.

It should not be too hard to make a building in the shape of a regular octahedron, considered as a triangular antiprism. I would be surprised if there weren't one somewhere. When I am King of the World, there will be an octahedral cathedral or someone will have brief but very uncomfortable conversation with me about their failure.

Also, where the hell is my Sonar Taxlaw fanfic?


Subject: Pavillion
Path: you​!your-host​!ultron​!uunet​!asr33​!hardees​!triffid​!mechanical-turk​!goatrectum​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2022-03-28T11:51:56
Newsgroup: alt.binaries.pictures.pavillion
Message-ID: <7a8e04041742ef04@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

[ This had been sitting unpublished on the other blog for six months. It has now been weighed in the balanc e and found wanting. ]

If a billion is a thousand millions, and a trillion is a million millions, how much is a pavillion?

NumbersNot numbers
bazillion
billion
gazillion
million
trillion
zillion
Brazilian
cotillion
pavilion
pillion
vermillion

Surely someone must already have discussed the Brazilian cotillion in the vermillion pavilion, it's too hard to miss.

(There is a joke about how George W. Bush, upon learning that four Brazilian miners were trapped underground, asked how many a Brazilian was.)

[ Previously ]


Subject: Physics puzzle
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!wikipedia​!uunet​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2022-02-23T20:02:38
Newsgroup: rec.pets.preheat
Message-ID: <f195ae5ba268ea34@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

If the laws of physics are time-symmetric, why do I always have to preheat the oven, and never postheat it?


Subject: Worst Bassist
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!qwerty​!fpuzhpx​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2022-02-23T19:46:06
Newsgroup: sci.math.worst-bassist
Message-ID: <aca0af9ac53aec82@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Sid Vicious, clearly.

In fact I think I'd be comfortable nominating the Sex Pistols as the worst band, overall. The world is full of obnoxious and incompetent bands. What gives the Pistols the prize is their insistence that they represented authenticity — maybe they hated you, but at least you knew it. This insistence, though, was itself nothing but a pose, manufactured by them and Malcolm MacLaren.


Subject: Happy new year!
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!thermostellar-bomb-20​!twirlip​!am​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2022-02-07T14:17:15
Newsgroup: misc.happy-new-year
Message-ID: <85d6db52c1c1c1c5@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

It's 2022! Is Groupon dead yet?


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!prime-radiant​!skordokott​!mechanical-turk​!skynet​!m5​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2021-10-14T14:20:11
Newsgroup: alt.mjd.20211014
Message-ID: <ad08acebca47ad43@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost


Subject: Spelling gloating
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!uunet​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!plover​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2021-03-14T14:39:07
Newsgroup: misc.spelling
Message-ID: <084f698653d28728@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Pretty pleased with myself today for spelling “Aung San Suu Kyi” without having to look it up.


Subject: Worst Nobel Peace Prize recipient update
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!prime-radiant​!computer​!hal9000​!plovergw​!ploverhub​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2021-03-14T14:33:12
Newsgroup: rec.pets.worst-nobel-peace-prize-recipient
Message-ID: <ed374d5d910fe79e@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Previously, I had some suggestions.

Since then, Aung San Suu Kyi has been looking like a good choice.

Also, since they apparently gave Obama the prize for not being George Bush, they should give Joe Biden two prizes for not being Donald Trump.


Subject:
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!ihnp4​!hal9000​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2021-03-14T14:15:51
Newsgroup: talk.mjd.ugh
Message-ID: <d0e8133181e8e74c@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost


Subject: A formal language puzzle
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!central-scrutinizer​!fpuzhpx​!plovergw​!ploverhub​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2021-03-14T14:09:10
Newsgroup: comp.lang.haskell.formal-language-question
Message-ID: <d72be256bce765f7@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Suppose !!\mathcal L!! is a regular language and there is some string !!t!! that is a substring of every element of !!\mathcal L!!.

Is it necessarily the case that there must exist regular languages !!A!! and !!B!! such that $$\mathcal L = A t B?$$


Subject: Variation
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!thermostellar-bomb-20​!skordokott​!berserker​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2021-03-06T00:49:08
Newsgroup: talk.bizarre.rsl
Message-ID: <6e315d10192ecea2@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Fuck, Marry, Kill, except it's Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash.


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!uunet​!asr33​!skynet​!m5​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2021-01-07T10:55:05
Newsgroup: misc.jobs.20210107
Message-ID: <989e2ecf32dcf7a8@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
  • The first musical instrument [Roy] Clark ever played was a four-string cigar box with a ukulele neck attached to it.