Content-Type: text/shitpost


Subject: Job interview advice
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!thermostellar-bomb-20​!skordokott​!berserker​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2020-01-13T17:17:04
Newsgroup: alt.mjd.job-interview
Message-ID: <c7e16399c4ebcfa6@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

A long time ago I was at a job interview, and the interviewer said she was concerned that the work wasn't hard enough for me, that I might become bored, find myself hating the job, and stop doing any work while continuing to come in.

I said no, before that happened I would certainly quit. Or else show up one day with a shotgun and murder everyone in the office.

There was a long pause.

“I probably shouldn't have said that.”

I got the job.


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!warthog​!gormenghast​!hal9000​!plovergw​!plovervax​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2020-01-08T18:57:28
Newsgroup: talk.mjd.20200108
Message-ID: <e7211d0b37649ed2@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
  • “Potion” is not related to “potent” (from Latin potēns, “powerful”, akin to “potentate” ). It is from pōtāre, to drink. It is, however, from the same root as “poison”.


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!qwerty​!fpuzhpx​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2020-01-07T18:48:26
Newsgroup: alt.binaries.20200107
Message-ID: <5cbff0ad227fd427@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
  • In classical Greek, the name of the letter ε was simply “εἶ”. The name “epsilon” (ἒψιλόν) didn't arise until the middle ages.


Subject: Schisms
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!qwerty​!fpuzhpx​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2020-01-06T18:03:09
Newsgroup: sci.math.schism
Message-ID: <4bffbc85518c8273@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

According to this 2004 New York Times article, United Methodists Move to Defrock Lesbian:

few Methodists expect church to reach point of schism…

and yet here we are.


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!ultron​!uunet​!asr33​!hardees​!triffid​!gormenghast​!extro​!central-scrutinizer​!fpuzhpx​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2020-01-02T16:41:36
Newsgroup: rec.food.20200102
Message-ID: <b160da228a48cb2f@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
  • Czech has a letter Ť, which is written lowercase as ť.


Subject: Customer service
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!gormenghast​!extro​!goatrectum​!plovergw​!ploverhub​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2020-01-02T16:08:45
Newsgroup: misc.misc.customer-service
Message-ID: <1253aca4c6eac3de@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

The Bosch web site said I should call if I wasn't sure whether their blade would fit in my tool. So I called. After about ten minutes on hold, I got the rep and asked my question: "Will your T-shank blades work in my Black and Decker handheld jigsaw?"

"I need the part or model number of the blade."

"I am interested in model T130DG."

"That is a T-shank blade. Does your saw take T-shank blades?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I am asking."

"Our blade will work in your saw, if your saw is compatible with T-shank blades."

Thanks, Bosch. I will decide to buy your blade, if your blade is something that I decide to buy.


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!prime-radiant​!computer​!hal9000​!plovergw​!plovervax​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-30T16:15:04
Newsgroup: misc.20191230
Message-ID: <597b59cbdc988ffb@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
  • Roy Harper, mentioned in the Led Zeppelin song [Hats Off to (Roy) Harper](WPREF/Hats Off to (Roy) Harper), was not one of the old black blues guys they ripped off. He is a white Englishman, only three years older than Jimmy Page, and is still alive.


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!wikipedia​!twirlip​!am​!plovergw​!plover​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-22T20:01:19
Newsgroup: rec.food.cooking.20191222
Message-ID: <07e3804c33a73aca@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
  • There is such a thing as “quinternions”!

  • Unfortunately it is not analogous to the mathematical objects known as quaternions.

  • Rather, a “quaternion” is a quire or booklet made of four sheets of paper folded together, and similarly a “quinternion” is five sheets.


Subject: The Goh–Schmutz constant
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!wikipedia​!twirlip​!am​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-18T01:26:25
Newsgroup: talk.mjd.goh-schmutz
Message-ID: <dae80e62a039f5ff@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

A theorem of Goh and Schmutz says that if !!\mu_n!! is the order of the average permutation of !!n!! elements, then $$\log \mu_n \sim c\sqrt{\frac{n}{\log n}}$$ where !!c!! is a constant, approximately !!1.1178641511899!!.


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!prime-radiant​!computer​!hal9000​!plovergw​!ploverhub​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-17T18:21:14
Newsgroup: alt.binaries.pictures.20191216
Message-ID: <6a2a46b2faed692c@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
  • There's a version of Britten's Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra narrated by Melissa Joan Hart as her character Clarissa.

  • Also one narrated by Dame Edna Everage.

(The version I had as a kid was narrated by Sean Connery.)


Subject: Noah's Ark
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!prime-radiant​!berserker​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-16T15:46:44
Newsgroup: talk.mjd.noahs-ark
Message-ID: <8c39bcd7cd5f5fc7@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

In Genesis 6:15–16, God tells Noah very specifically how to build the ark:

This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be three hundred cubits long, fifty cubits wide and thirty cubits high. Make a roof for it, leaving below the roof an opening one cubit high all around

(New International Version)

Now, suppose you're Noah. The Flood is coming. God has told you to make the ark three hundred cubits long. Is God just offering a helpful estimate here, about how big the ark will need to be? Or is this one of those situations where you have to measure exactly, because God said “three hundred cubits” and not “roughly three hundred cubits”?

The Flood is coming, Noah is in a big hurry, but has had to measure that three hundred cubits exactly. Because if he made it a handsbreadth too long or too short, he might have turned out to be the guy cited in the second edition of the Bible as having caused the destruction of the world by being insufficiently attentive to the command of God.


Subject: When I die…
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!thermostellar-bomb-20​!twirlip​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-16T13:31:45
Newsgroup: alt.binaries.when-i-die
Message-ID: <48ea491b98f25685@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

I want to be buried wearing a t-shirt that says STORE IN A COOL DRY PLACE.


Subject: A pronouncement
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!prime-radiant​!computer​!hal9000​!plovergw​!ploverhub​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-12T16:46:30
Newsgroup: rec.pets.heptagons
Message-ID: <db6859abccf646d3@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

The heptagon is underused as an architectural element.

P.S. I am not a crackpot.


Subject: A riddle
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!thermostellar-bomb-20​!twirlip​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-12T16:09:51
Newsgroup: comp.lang.haskell.Riddle
Message-ID: <499d6762e022b74e@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

What's the opposite of a mallet?

A bonnet!


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!thermostellar-bomb-20​!twirlip​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-10T19:34:34
Newsgroup: misc.20191210
Message-ID: <4097e1c924129c5c@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
  • The word “kibitz” is ultimately from Middle High German Kiebitz, which is a type of plover.


Subject: Trolley problem
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!wikipedia​!twirlip​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!plovervax​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-09T16:45:22
Newsgroup: misc.trolley-problem
Message-ID: <263ce5521168eaaa@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

The trolley problem is just as perplexing if your goal is to kill as many people as possible.


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!ultron​!uunet​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-09T15:34:29
Newsgroup: alt.binaries.pictures.20191209
Message-ID: <7e70122390257b26@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
  • “[Dwayne Johnson] was Tim Burton's second choice to play the role in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory if Johnny Depp wasn't available.” WHAAAAAAT?

  • Edgar Allan Poe married his first cousin when she was 13 years old. They claimed at the time that she was 21.


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!thermostellar-bomb-20​!twirlip​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-12-03T14:57:23
Newsgroup: alt.sex.20191203
Message-ID: <b2e80d8b0c044c48@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
    • The name of Dictys, the kindly fisherman in the legend of Perseus, means “Mr. Net”.


Subject: Fighting words
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!uunet​!asr33​!skynet​!m5​!plovergw​!plovervax​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-11-26T19:04:40
Newsgroup: talk.bizarre.fighting-words
Message-ID: <ce48e31c3ff33f1c@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

We will continue to defend our Lindt gold bunny in the future whenever necessary.

NPR, 2013


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!ultron​!uunet​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-11-26T18:30:06
Newsgroup: rec.food.20191126
Message-ID: <62aa8a2d43b35b3a@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
  • Trichinella can be killed by freezing, except that there are freeze-resistant species that normally live in Arctic-dwelling animals.


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!goatrectum​!plovergw​!plover​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-11-14T13:51:01
Newsgroup: misc.jobs.20191113
Message-ID: <91bcaf255d11d043@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost
  • Frank Lautenberg, longest-serving senator in New Jersey history, was a very early partner in the (now enormous) payroll-processing company ADP.

  • Cloris Leachman was “Miss Chicago 1946”, and so competed in that year's Miss America pageant.

And in sentences I wasnt expecting to read yesterday:

He's one of rock's biggest stars, but Sir Rod Stewart has finally revealed the fruits of his other great passion — model railways.

Original BBC reporting


Subject: Best part of the Fiona Hill testimony so far
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!qwerty​!fpuzhpx​!plovergw​!plover​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-11-11T21:06:01
Newsgroup: alt.binaries.fiona-hill
Message-ID: <90325f25a95410b9@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

We had one candidate for election in one country that I won't state who showed up at the ██████ State Fair and worked the rope line to get a picture with the President and then put it up on the website of his campaign, claiming that he'd had a personal meeting with the President. Well, you know, it was against a backdrop, so you couldn't see the cows in the background or, you know, the farm entity, but we all thought it was quite hysterical that they go to those lengths to work the rope line ██████ to get a picture.

Deposition of Fiona Hill, page 66.


Subject: Stuff I'm glad I don't have to worry about
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!thermostellar-bomb-20​!twirlip​!glados​!the-matrix​!mechanical-turk​!scattered-needles​!neuromancer​!berserker​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-11-11T20:42:42
Newsgroup: talk.mjd.ayodhya-dispute
Message-ID: <cdee80ef94c39fed@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Ayodhya dispute:

The issues revolve around the control of a site traditionally regarded among Hindus to be the birthplace of the Hindu deity Rama, the history and location of the Babri Masjid at the site, and whether a previous Hindu temple was demolished or modified to create the mosque.


Subject: Do merpeople urinate?
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!wikipedia​!hardees​!brain-in-a-vat​!am​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-11-11T18:40:19
Newsgroup: sci.math.merpeople
Message-ID: <dbe09dadd4fe280b@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

(Fish don't.)


Subject: Anachronistic trash truck
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!hardees​!triffid​!mechanical-turk​!berserker​!plovergw​!plovervax​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-11-09T15:58:44
Newsgroup: misc.jobs.trash-truck
Message-ID: <cdf433ca88ba7256@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

The side of a blue trash
truck, proclaiming “MUNICIPAL WASTE”, “RUBBISH REMOVAL”, and
“RECYCLING SERVICE”.  The truck is also emblazoned with three-arrow
recycling symbols, a waving U.S. flag, and a portrait of a
cheerful-looking Oscar the Grouch emerging from his trash can.

The 48-star flag and Oscar the Grouch are anachronistic. The flag gained its 49th and 50th stars in 1959 when Alaska and Hawai‘i were admitted as states; Oscar the Grouch first appeared on Sesame Street in the summer of 1969.

(Also, the truck says “Quality Service for Over 30 Years”. While it's possible that the truck or its owners were in service before the admission of Alaska, this implication is that it wasn't.)

I conclude that this trash truck was designed by time travellers, who failed to do adequate research.