Content-Type: text/shitpost

Me and the family have been on the road recently, and yesterday we saw a food-grade tanker truck in the next lane. I amused myself for a while speculating about what might be in it: Pudding? Cottage cheese? Guacamole? Hummus? Blueberry yogurt, with the fruit on the bottom? (That one got a laugh from Ms. 17.)

Well, probably not, but on looking it up I found some probably reliable lists of what does get shipped that way. From Kan-Haul's bulk liquid transport FAQ:

• Dairy products ( pasteurized milk, and cream)
• Alcohol products (gin, vodka, and wine)
• Juices (fruit juice and vegetable juice)
• Vegetable oils (canola oil and coconut oil)
• Syrups and other sweeteners (corn syrup, honey, and molasses)
• Sugar alcohols (mannitol and sorbitol)
• Vinegar (apple cider vinegar and distilled vinegar)
• Citrus products (citric acid solution and citrus fruit terpenes)
• Non-food products (essential oils and mineral oil)
• Additives and preservatives (beverage bases, caramel color, and natural and artificial colors)

I think the most amusing item on that list is the molasses. Or perhaps the honey. "There's been a crash on route 202! Send a truckful of graham crackers!" But a tomato juice spill could also be amusing. Amusing, rather than just horrible. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near after a canola oil mishap.

Still I guess the really interesting items are the ones not on the list because they are less commonly shipped. I was tempted to write to one of these shipping firms to ask for weird stories, but they have work to do. Still I can dream that maybe there is a tanker truck out there somewhere carrying 11,000 gallons of butterscotch pudding.

Aha, someone in this Quora thread mentioned hauling processed pumpkin pie filling. I am completely satisfied.