Content-Type: text/shitpost


Subject: Five simple ingredients
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!prime-radiant​!computer​!ihnp4​!hal9000​!plovergw​!plovervax​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-06-30T21:38:39
Newsgroup: sci.math.cream-cheese
Message-ID: <7090325d9feb3959@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

The box from a half-pound of
Philadelphia brand cream cheese, which boasts “5 SIMPLE INGREDIENTS”.

I found this this slogan lot more impressive before I found out that one of the “five simple ingredients” is carob bean gum.

Carob bean gum, just like just like my Grandma used to use!


Subject: Philadelphia hotel, 1910
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!wikipedia​!uunet​!asr33​!hardees​!triffid​!gormenghast​!extro​!forbin​!berserker​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-06-29T23:19:22
Newsgroup: misc.misc.hotel
Message-ID: <798fe6e5509845ba@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

This is from the Philadelphia Atlas, of G. W. Bromley, published 1910. The location is currently occupied by the Cira Centre, just north 30th Street Pennsylvania Station (opened 1933).

A portion of a map, with buildings
marked in yellow and pink.  Several large yellow buildings, surrounded
and cut through with rail lines, are labeled CATTLE PENS.  Pink
buildings on the left and right are SLAUGHTER HOUSE and ABBATOIR.  In
between is a smaller pink building labeled HOTEL.  Just north of the
hotel are the HOG PENS.

Wow, that hotel. Location, location, location.

[ Addendum 2019-07-01: Chas. Owens found a picture of the hotel! ]


Subject: Today I learned…
Path: you​!your-host​!warthog​!gormenghast​!hal9000​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-06-26T07:12:30
Newsgroup: talk.mjd.today-i-learned
Message-ID: <306181a7a2401f58@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Noted mathematician Solomon Lefschetz had no hands. He had lost them in an accident at the age of 23.


Subject: Lyme disease
Path: you​!your-host​!ultron​!uunet​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-06-25T18:38:09
Newsgroup: rec.food.cooking.lyme-disease
Message-ID: <3dad3e26a10111e1@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

There's no point in reading an article titled “Lyme disease cases are exploding”, I know I'll just be disappointed.


Subject: Inside an Amazon AWS data center
Path: you​!your-host​!walldrug​!epicac​!thermostellar-bomb-20​!twirlip​!batcomputer​!plovergw​!plovervax​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-06-25T11:31:55
Newsgroup: misc.misc.aws
Message-ID: <0a91a35e4c05605c@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

A still from the movie _The Matrix_
showing endless ranked columns of translucent pods, each containing an
inert human body.


Subject: Four people in a train
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!wikipedia​!uunet​!asr33​!skynet​!m5​!plovergw​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-06-21T11:02:26
Newsgroup: alt.sex.train-joke
Message-ID: <2442e426fa956dc9@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

This is one of my favorite jokes.

Four people are riding in a train carriage in Czechosolvakia in 1974: an old Czech woman, a young Czech woman, a Russian soldier, and a Czech worker.

The train goes into a dark tunnel. There is the sound of a loud kiss, and then a louder smack. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the soldier is nursing the side of his face, and the Czech man has a big grin.

The old woman thinks “That girl is well brought-up! The soldier tried to steal a kiss, and she gave him what he deserved.”

The young woman thinks “What a funny soldier! He tried to kiss the old lady instead of me.”

The soldier thinks ruefully “What a clever Czech guy! He stole the kiss, but I was the one to get slapped.”

The Czech thinks “What a day! I got to smack a Russian soldier in the face, and all I had to do was kiss the back of my hand.”

I like it because the way all the pieces fit together is so perfect and ingenious. Everyone thinks something different that is consistent with the different information they have. It's like a tiny farce in a box.

I also like it because it looks at first like it's going to be about sexual assault, but then the sexual assault evaporates at the last moment. (Yes, it's about regular assault instead.)


Subject: The Disco Ball
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!glados​!extro​!goatrectum​!plovergw​!plovervax​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-06-07T11:10:01
Newsgroup: alt.sex.disco-ball
Message-ID: <b9c2902f363d016b@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

Wikipedia informs me that the disco ball was invented in the 1920s. This is surprising. Certainly the technology to manufacture it was available much earlier. I think a disco ball would not be out of place at Versailles.


Subject: P.L. Kapitsa on lightning rods
Path: you​!your-host​!wintermute​!hardees​!triffid​!gormenghast​!qwerty​!fpuzhpx​!plovergw​!plover​!shitpost​!mjd
Date: 2019-06-07T10:47:58
Newsgroup: rec.food.cooking.kapitsa
Message-ID: <643d6b82b9e08a69@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

…each English citizen who provided his lightning conductor with a spike and not with a blunt end was considered as politically suspect.