Content-Type: text/shitpost

Why crows? Are they noteworthy for flying in straight lines?

Why not, say, carrier pigeons, which are famous for that?

(It reminds me a little of Charles Dickens’ musing on “dead as a doornail”:

I don't mean to say that, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a doornail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade.

“As the hawk flies” would be a funny twist on the phrase, since hawks are famous for gliding in slow lazy circles and not really going anywhere until they dive-bomb a vole.

Or perhaps “as the penguin flies”. I don't know what that should mean but it can't be good.