Content-Type: text/shitpost

It's been tough for anyone to wear a mustache since that asshole in Germany ruined it, but some people manage to pull it off. A while back I asked for examples of post-Hitler wearers of noteworthy mustaches. (It's not enough to be a noteworthy person who happens to have a mustache; the mustache itself must be noteworthy.)

Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck stand out here. Rollie Fingers comes to mind. Freddie Mercury, John Waters, Geraldo Rivera, and surely there are many others. (Chaplin and Dalí don't count: too early. Clark Gable is borderline.)

The toothbrush mustache, though, is dead. Even Michael Jordan could not rehabilitate it. He wore one in a 2010 Hanes commercial and was universally condemned. Charles Barkley spoke for everyone:

I don’t know what the hell he was thinking.