Content-Type: text/shitpost

Some co-workers recently suggested that cocktail garnishes are unimportant, just decoration. I don't think this position is particularly supportable in general, but as a universal claim it can be completely refuted by the example of the Sourtoe cocktail, served at The Sourdough Saloon of the Downtown Hotel in Dawson City, Canada.

Without its garnish, the Sourtoe is a nothing: a straight shot, usually of Yukon Jack. But it is garnished with an actual human toe.

Maybe the Sourtoe could become better-known by expanding the reach of its brand. In addition to Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whisky, there is now Jack Daniel's barbecue sauce and a whole line of Jack Daniel's mustards. In that spirit, I suggest not only Sourtoe™ barbecue sauce and Sourtoe™ mustard, but also:

• Sourtoe™ steak sauce
• Sourtoe™ baked beans
• Sourtoe™ spice rub
• Sourtoe™ cocktail mix
• Sourtoe™ hot dog relish
• Sourtoe™-flavored gummi worms
• Sourtoe™ frozen yogurt
• Sourtoe™-flavored Doritos®
• Sourtoe™ hangover relief medication