Content-Type: text/shitpost

Subject: The horn of the Robert Smalls
Path: you!your-host!wintermute!mechanical-turk!goatrectum!plovergw!shitpost!mjd
Date: 2026-09-27T09:30:10
Newsgroup: misc.dukes
Message-ID: <a06ba336785e6366@shitpost.plover.com>
Content-Type: text/shitpost

I can't stop thinking about the Black-centered remake of The Dukes of Hazzard. (Previously: [1] [2].)

In the previous article I observed that while I had found a satisfactory way to replace the General Lee (now the Robert Smalls) and its Confederate flag, I was stuck on its horn sound, which in the original plays “Dixie”.

I workshopped this with Claude yesterday and found what I think is an excellent solution. James Brown's “I Got You (I Feel Good)” starts with:

I feel good! (Wah-wah wah-wah wah-wah wah)

Listen here

Even the parts of this that aren't already horns still sound like horns! I'm not sure yet whether the Robert Smalls’ horn should play all ten notes or just the seven wah-wahs. But I think it satisfies the desiderata:

Instantly recognizable, even as a car horn jingle
Fully Black-coded
Cheerful, upbeat, slightly mocking

Also, bonus trivia, James Brown was born in South Carolina, just like the Duke brothers.